Parental Pressure in Sport

As a parent, one works to encourage, support and motivate their children in many facets of life and in sports. However many parents motivate their children in ways that are counterproductive and place more pressure on top of the pressure to succeed already placed on the player internally and externally through their team. Being there, driving your player to practice and watching your child play may be all it takes to motivate your child's drive to be the best they can be.

Pressure being placed on children by parents to excel as an athlete seems to be increasing. In addition, some children are being enrolled in competition too early. Sometimes young children will pressure their parents to enroll them in sport at too early an age, despite not being prepared mentally or physically. In these cases it becomes very important that parents closely examine their youngster's physical and emotional maturity before making commitments to athletic participation. However, the parent and child relationship in which the parent applies pressure on the child to not only participate in sport, but to aspire to elite status, is most concerning. Having a son or daughter willing and able to play on a hockey team is very positive. In cases where the child is highly motivated both parties can benefit and feel pride. But, a child should not feel pressured by a parent concerning their participation in sport.

The parental responsibility in child development includes being a supporter, motivator, facilitator, and even a coach of all facets of life. Even with this role in place it is natural that a child will feel some level of pressure to succeed and glorify their parent's aspirations. Growing up I was not negatively pressured by my parents to succeed or participate in sports. The emphasis in our household was placed heavily on academics, and athletics were extracurricular and played at my discretion. As it turned out, I loved many sports, was a fairly "natural" athlete, and was fortunate enough to play multiple sports at the college varsity level. Even though I was not subjected to pressure or coercion to participate in sports, there was no situation that got my legs moving faster or made me shoot harder than when my mother and father were in the stands. Competitive athletes are subjected to many physical, mental, and emotional demands. There is always a winner and a loser, and the competitive pressure to succeed is very high (some more so than others). Had there been any additional pressure placed upon me from them I do not think I would have been able to handle it. As I went through the levels of participation in sport I recall horror stories of pressure and abuse placed upon children by their parents to thrive in sport. Out of these situations there were very few positive outcomes that transpired.

In respect to parenting there are many responsibilities in ensuring that your child is ready to handle the real world. This involves celebrating everyday victories and also supporting them during difficult times. It is important that parents do not add additional pressure to their children's already hectic life and especially during times that are intended to be fun, such as athletics. It is a great feeling when your child makes the "A" team or scores the overtime goal, but these opportunities and situations are not always the case. You may not be aware that you are pressuring your child to become an elite athlete. Your own attitudes and behaviors can be difficult to detect. That is why it is important talk with your children and the people around you to ensure that you are focused on having fun with athletics and being a positive, loving role model.

This article is reprinted from the Minnesota Hockey Education Program's September 2008 Newsletter.